Jim Skamarakas

My wife sent me a text message that a box arrived labeled chocolate for our daughter. She had to take the box with her to pick up that daughter, and that daughter just happen to me so excited that candy bars were yanked out of the box and eaten by these two woman. One 7 and the other much older.

Now on the box it had the 7 year olds name. Why did it have to be taken to school for her to get right away? She gets mail and magazines, and those get left on the table at home for her to read when her school work is done. Her Christmas, birthday and other holiday cards don’t get taken to school.

Did the 7 year old order this box? No, I did. So she did not know what to do with.

Did my wife order this box? No, I did. So she should have known not to open it.

How should she have known? Because I told her “A package is arriving for Eilis. It is a Mother’s Day present she has to wrap. Make sure she doesn’t open it.” to which my wife said “Okay”.

Now at the time, the former fat lady, still chocolate addict, did not know it was a box of chocolates.

Why would the words chocolate on the side of a box cause this grown woman to go insane and rip open a box and together with a 7 year old girl devour a chocolate bar?

We can’t see menopause because they both did it.

We can’t say insane, because while one of them might be insane, the odds of them both going insane in the same week seems pretty slim.

I ask you, why did this woman who know a package was coming address to Eilis, that needed to be gift wrapped as a Mother’s Day gift get so mistreated, man or rather woman handled, opened, consumed and drooled over? Are the remaining morsels even any good? Are the soaked in chocolate crazed frenzy slobber and drool?

Do I want to be in the same room on Mother’s Day when the remaining chocolate crumbs are ripped out of their wrappers and consumed in a feeding frenzy? With so little chocolate left, do I need to restrain the children, or restrain the Mother so we do not have any innocent bystander related casualties? Is drive by chocolate even a phrase? I have heard of Death by Chocolate, is this what they mean?

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Categories: Family
Tags: anna, diet, Family, holidays, humor