Coping with Retina Detachment

By Jim on April 8th, 2006

An individual with RD asked on one of my discussion lists, and the replies and mine where interesting so I thought I would share

From : kumanakaya
Reply-To : detached-retina
Sent : Thursday, April 6, 2006 11:44 AM
To : detached-retina
Subject : [detached-retina] Re: coping?

These are great posts, as usual. How do I cope? Hmmm, I talk to my husband about how I am feeling, insecure, angry, frustrated, alone, helpless, and we talk about how to deal with these issues. If I can come up with a plan most of the time I’m off and running again. He’s disabled (back surgery) so he knows the frustrations of having the boundaries of what I can and cannot do adjusted for me. I am making plans to take a trip to Europe next year. I may not make it there, I don’t know how I’ll get around yet, but planning something exciting in the future gets me out of my funk.

I am slooowwwwllllyyyy coming to accept what I cannot change my vision back to what it was, but I keep pushing the envelope of what I think I can and cannot do because I think sometimes I settle too low. My sister asked me how I dealt with depression. My first reaction was, “I’m not depressed (emphatic).” but then I started to think, I sleep a lot, I’m not motivated to start anything new right now, maybe I am.

I work four 10-hour shifts so I can’t sleep too much (smile), my grandkids stay with us during the week (two pre-teens) and I found a really good book in large print “The Historian” that I’m knee-deep into, but if I didn’t have to work and didn’t have so many distractions, my tendency right now would be to sink into a bog somewhere and vegetate (not a good thing to do I’m sure). Making myself go out and then giving myself a reward helps too (go to the mall and get a Cinnibun). The more I get out the more I realize that everyone has handicaps, some are more invisible like mine, and some and more visible. Besides when I’m active my attitude is much more positive.

These are great posts, keep me thinking and moving forward. Thanks everyone!

Joanne

— In detached-retina, “Jim Skamarakas”

I stop washing my hair in the shower and get into a better lit room. Or I hold my wife’s hand tighter till the movie house lights come up or the picture starts

Or I pull the car over at a rest stop and go walk inside and grab a drink or buy a lottery ticket or use the restroom and walk around for 30 minutes rather than sit in the car waiting for things to clear up. Be it the weather or my vision.

My current arch-nemesis though has become the overhead projector in conference rooms. Can’t leave the meeting, can’t walk around, can’t not watch the screen and the speaker. The best I have been able to come up with for this is volunteer to take notes. It gives me something not disturbing to my vision to watch.

Once the medical work is done, you are on a lifelong path of dealing with what you have - and it’s as good as it’s going to get can be frustrating, sad and make you mad. But it’s a burden you have to carry. Most likely the rubber band that presses on my left eye is different from anyone else on the list is different from their exact floaters is different from their ability to drive or read or watch TV. But you are not alone - RD and the other things that happen to take you from 20/20 eagle eyes to something else don’t stop you from being you. They just present and obstacle that once you get past it, you will be better for the experience - it strengthens you.
_____

From: detached-retina On Behalf Of Tony
Sent: Wednesday, April 05, 2006 11:01 PM
To: detached-retina
Subject: [detached-retina] Re: coping?

— In detached-retina, “rayeulita” wrote:
— I was wondering, what do you guys use as coping mechanisms?

I used to smoke, but no longer have the desire except when the fear about my vision overwhelms me…and even then…I know I don’t want the cigarette, but what the cigarette used to be able to do for me.

In fact, I start to get mad at the cigarette for sucking so much and not being there for me anymore. Just kidding. Anyway, I’m in search of what I can do to calm myself down when I start getting into that cycle of paranoia…Another mechanism was to dive into work/study/reading but all of those require lots of visual concentration which doesn’t do much for taking my mind off things.

— Btw, I’m an American working in Seoul, Korea.

Hello rayeulita, ya know when I get like your discribing, I just go outside and sit and I think of all the children in this world who are dying everyday from cancer and all other things in this life and I think about how lucky I am to be a grown man and have survived all theses years and realize how lucky I am to still be here and how much I love life and all the anxiety seems to just go away… maybe it will help you cope