Born into this life 11/18/65

Blessed with Eternal life 3/7/03

Bean died unexpectedly at home from complications resulting from a lifelong battle with panhypopituitarism. She was a beloved daughter, a caring and much loved sister, a devoted aunt, and a dedicated friend. We will miss her forever, but we are grateful that she is free from the physical suffering she endured while she was with us. Bean lived every minute of her life enjoying all that she did. We hope you will find in these pictures that she got the most out of the limited time she was with us. We love you, Bean!

11/10/2003 We attended a memorial Mass at Annunciation Church tonight in Bellmawr. It is the parish we belonged to when Bean died, and so she was buried from there. The Mass was very nice. The choir sang some very moving songs, and then just before communion, they announced the name and date of death of each person who died this year. As the name was announced, a candle was lit in their honor, and then after the name was read, a bell tolled. It was very emotional, and it kind of hits you that she is truly gone. Some days, I can fool myself into thinking she’s at my mother’s, but the Mass jarred me into reality for a while.

I have been twice to John Edward seminars, hoping to connect with Bean in the spiritual world. I have had several instances where I believe she confirms that she is still with me, but to have someone be able to give me a definite message from her would be incredible. At both seminars, I believe she was trying to come through, but it is so difficult in that setting to be certain. You are in an auditorium with 2000 other people, and even though he is pointing in your area, you just have to wonder if he means you, or the guy behind you that jumped right up. In my most recent trip, the person who was coming through from the other side was congratulating the people here on the recent wedding, and it happened to be the day after Meg’s wedding. In the previous seminar, a woman named Anna sitting two rows behind me claimed a reading was for her when he said a sister had died, and the sister helped raise a child, either lived with her sister or very close to her, and the sister was known for making something or cooking something like Brownies. The day Bean died, she was supposed to make her famous Irish potatoes for Brighid’s girl scout troop – although Bean referred to them as Brownies. It was very coincidental. In retrospect, it may have been Bean both times.

During the summer of 2000, we took Bean with us on a trip cross country. We saw some amazing things – the grand canyon, Mt. Rushmore, the Hoover Dam. Bean’s favorite parts of the trip, however, were the geek culture headquarters, Roswell, New Mexico and the Circus Circus casino. She had us all buy passes to go into the “secret room” in a Roswell gift shop where the aliens were kept. It was tough to get her to pose for pictures most of the time, but she willingly posed here. She had a blast in Roswell. At Circus Circus, she went down on the gambling floor herself and enjoyed the slot machines, then when she was with Brighid, they went to enjoy the circus acts and the carnival games. I think Bean played more games than Brighid.

For Brighid’s 11th birthday, we had a luau at our house. Bean told Brighid she would be there with her hula skirt on. She had me take her to the party store where we bought the hula skirt and the most colorful silk flower lei they had. We joked about buying the coconut bra to go with the outfit, but she said she’d need “coconut boobs” to put in it! She was always up for a party, and she loved helping out with the kids’ parties. She was the one who helped with the games and gave out the prizes, and she always made sure the games were fair for the little ones. Bean was a natural at parties – after all, Bean had fun every day of her life. A party was a way for her to share the fun with everyone else.

A heart as big as Bean’s had tons of room in it for animals – and she loved all the freaky ones. Snakes, lizards, all things scaley and ugly, Bean loved. Whenever she was with us in Orlando, she took Brighid to Gatorland, where they held alligators and huge snakes. I don’t remember where she was when she held the tiger – I think at a Church carnival somewhere when Brighid was dancing. The tiger was scratching so fiercely, Bean had marks on her thigh for a week afterwards. But I think this was one of the most thrilling moments in her life – it was her chance to beat Seigfried and Roy at their own game!

There are Disney fans, and then there is Bean. She never met a Disney store she didn’t like. It used to be so difficult for her to get around, but tell her we were going to Disney World, and out came the sneakers and off she went. She sometimes had to take a few more breaks than the rest of us, and sometimes she would lag a bit behind, but that just gave her extra time to check out the souvenier shops. I am sure if I did a really good search, I could find a picture of Bean with nearly every character at Disney World. The kids at lunch at school used to comment that she must have every Disney shirt ever made because it seemed like she had a different one for every day she went to school. We returned from a trip to Disney just three days before Bean died. I had asked her if she wanted to go with us on that trip, and she came up with a dozen excuses not to go. At the time, I really thought it was about her wanting to save some money or have some peace and quiet at the house by herself. Now, I think maybe somehow she knew she needed to be at home, spending time talking on the phone or visiting our parents, or just relaxing and enjoying one of the last snow falls of winter. She loved the snow, and by the grace of God, she got to enjoy six inches of the white stuff just days before she died.

7/2003 We are in New Orleans right now, and I am thinking of Bean, who was with us for our last trip. I never saw her sweat so much! She loved it, though, and sat for a reading with a street psychic. She wouldn’t try any of the famous foods of New Orleans, but that was okay. She had a blast, and like everything else, everything here was fabulous!