I’m old.
This post may be filled with TMI (too much information) for the squeamish, so if you’re not willing to hear gory details about my personal life, this is the point at which you turn and run screaming from the room with your hands covering your eyes and ears.
Stop now if you’re not in the mood for a long, bitchy vent.
My husband works for a living, like most people do. We are fortunate that his position allows me the opportunity to be at home and raise our children. I realize and appreciate in this day and age that not everyone has this privilege. I did not have it for most of the early years of our marriage. As a matter of fact, after 4 months maternity leave, I did not get to stay home with Brighid again until Eilis was born, so for more than half of our marriage, I have worked outside of the home.
It was 5 years ago today that Bean died here at our house. I walk around here today feeling just an overwhelming sadness and the whole wave of grief that I felt in the days following her death seem to flood back as if the whole thing happened just yesterday. I get sad that she’s missed seeing how great Brighid is turning out, and I miss that she didn’t get to see Eilis grow, and I miss that she didn’t get to meet Granuaile. I know she probably looks over them, but for them, it’s not the same as having her here would have been.
I am apparently one of the meanest mothers on the planet. As I stood in the kitchen tonight, slaving over a home cooked dinner of scallop bacon chowder, my youngest child stood behind me, watching as I added the ingredients to the pot.
You all know Arby’s. To start with, it’s fast food, and if you’ve had gastric bypass surgery, you probably want to avoid fast food when you can. And then on top of that, there is usually so little you can eat at fast food restaurants, it’s not worth the trip to go.
Usually on Thursday nights, Jim is getting in really late, and we are welcoming the midnight shift at our favorite diner as we sit down to eat dinner. Jim has a couple of weeks in a row where he is scheduled to come in at 7, so he wants to try a couple of restaurants we have not yet eaten in, and this one is on the radar.
Copyright Anna Skamarakas 1985-2008 | 2009